top of page

LYRICS
SPORK FETISH
I dream of you, my plastic tool
Deep inside my vestibule
You're not a fork, you're not a spoon
Yet you always make me swoon
Shiny curves that make me gasp
Shove it hard right in my grasp
Bathing me in your yogurt
Makes my juicy lemon squirt
Spork me harder till I scream
Plastic teeth make me cream
Spork me deeper from behind
Chocolate donut loves to grind
Spork me all across the nation
Mutual mastication
Spork me longer while I moan
I'm your culinary ho
In the moonlight, let me show
Touch my taco down below
Press a spatula to flame
Oh, you're such a kinky thing
Spank my Bundt cake til it burns
Egg plants are now taking turns
Every bagel in me filled
And you're watching, gives me chills
Spork me harder till I scream
Plastic teeth make me cream
Spork me deeper from behind
Chocolate donut loves to grind
Ice cream forks are so blasé
Terrapins are so cliche
Spork me deeper 'til you nut
I'm your culinary slut
In the moonlight, let me show
Pork my curtains down below
Bratwurst sliding in the back
While your teeth has cooter snacks
Spank my kitty 'til it burns
Egg plants are now taking turns
Glazing me through the endeavor
Oh, salt me with your deadly pepper
Spork me harder till I scream
Plastic teeth make me cream
Spork me deeper from behind
Chocolate donut loves to grind
Kumquat dripping sweet and tart
Hope the beans don't make me fart
Spork me 'til I scream for more
I'm your culinary whore
TWERKING FOR JESUS
Sun beats down
On that old red barn
Plowing fields
With these hands so worn
Sweat on my brow
From dawn 'til dusk
In the Lord's good work
I've put my trust
Climbing off that weathered
Old John Deere
Dust in my hair
But I feel you near
Got dinner on the stove
And chores to do
But I find my joy
Thinking of You
When the day is done
And the stars shine bright
I let my hair down
In the holy night
I move to the rhythm
Of the gospel tune
Twerking for Jesus
By the light of the moon
In those moments
Grace fills the air
Feel Your love in each
Shake and flare
Feet on the ground
But my spirit soars
Worshiping You
On these creaky old floors
When the day is done
And the stars shine bright
I let my hair down
In the holy night
I move to the rhythm
Of the gospel tune
Twerking for Jesus
By the light of the moon
Neighbors might whisper
But I don't mind
They don't know
The peace I find
In these small moves
Each touch divine
I lift my heart
Your love entwined
All lyrics from the album Culinary Slut by Fuzzy Death Machine (C) 2025, except Christmas on Uranus originally by Psycholand (C) 2021
THANOS TAKES A SHIT
I hate superheroes
Purple is my skin
I travel outer space looking dapper
When I'm not stuck on the crapper
People don't understand
The exodus must get started
I will rule with an iron fist
(Oh my god! I fucking sharted!)
Spend eternity clenching purple cheeks
Toilet paper out of reach
I've got things to do, but all I do is poo
Infinity stones into the porcelain throne
Too many bean burritos
I'm dropping booty cakes
And thinking of Wanda Romanoff
With the golden gauntlet whacking off
I am the mad titan
You know it's my destiny
I want to rule the universe
But I'm pooping too many stinkies
Spend eternity clenching purple cheeks
Toilet paper out of reach
I've got things to do, but all I do is poo
Infinity stones into the porcelain throne
I hate superheroes
Purple is my skin
I travel through the galaxy
With a plethora of dingleberries
Wafting from the bathroom
Butt mud on my boots
Making brownies while I poot
And wipe my ass with baby Groot
Spend eternity clenching purple cheeks
Toilet paper out of reach
I've got things to do, but all I do is poo
Infinity stones into the porcelain throne
Green apple splatters
Purple Hershey squirts
Infinity stones into the porcelain throne
Farting pebbles from my dookie hole
CHRISTMAS ON URANUS
(MARIAH SUCKS ASS MIX)
It's that time of year
Everybody spreading cheer
Dancing sugar plums
During long winter naps
People want the latest trend
Or caroling out with their friends
That is really nice and all
But I don't give a crap
Deck the halls with whips and chains
Or maybe some candles
On this festive holiday
Let's be a bit anal
Cause what I have in mind is
A little more risqué
All I want for Christmas
Is some butt sex
And some sour diesel
And maybe some eggnog
All I want for Christmas
Is some booty sex
Shagaliscious vixens
For boinking all night long
You can keep the ugly sweaters
You can keep the fruit cake
Socks and gaudy neck ties
Make me wanna scream
Material possessions
Are great and everything
Butt you can make me smile
With a little sodomy
Deck the halls with whips and chains
Or maybe some candles
Dim the lights and give the room
Just some touch of class
On this festive holiday
Let's be a bit anal
Let me leave a present
While I cum inside your... (OH!)
All I want for Christmas
Want some butt sex
And some heavy indica
And maybe some eggnog
All I want for Christmas
Some funky booty sex
Shagaliscious vixens
For porking all night long
All I want for Christmas
Is some butt sex
Going raw dogging
With a certain yule log
All I want for Christmas
Some funky booty sex
Shagaliscious vixens
For boinking all night long
All I want to do is
Be the man inside the moon
And Uranus
Sail the seven seas and
With a vat of anal grease
And Jesus
HUNDRED ACRE HOOD
Eeyore in the trap
Tail draggin' on the pavement
Winnie snatchin' honeypots
Piglet roll with brave men
Tigger bouncin' through the block
Stripes never phased them
Hundred Acre Hood
Crime scenes like engravement
Pooh with the Glock
Golden fur, but he ruthless
Kanga in the kitchen
Whip it up like she's toothless
Roo got the lookout
See the cops through the roof vents
Rabbit movin' veggies
Like he's runnin' horticulture offense
Hundred Acre Crew
We ride or die
Eeyore's gloom
Got a sinister vibe
From the pages of a book
To the hood night sky
Move in silence
Like shadows we glide
Christopher Robin
Mob boss, mastermind
Plans intricate
Weave like fine twine
Eeyore's steady
Eyes heavy, but his mind shine
Piglet nervous
But his heart beat, power rhyme
Owl got the wisdom
Read the game like a book
Schemes be complex
But the bait they never took
Both are underground
Tunnels formed like a crook
Hundred Acre hustle
Deeper than it looks
Hundred Acre Crew
We ride or die
Eeyore's gloom
Got a sinister vibe
From the pages of a book
To the hood night sky
Move in silence
Like shadows we glide
SPOTIFY
APPLE
AMAZON
PANDORA
iHEART
TIDAL
DEEZER
SHAZAM
All lyrics from the album Culinary Slut by Fuzzy Death Machine (C) 2025, except Christmas on Uranus originally by Psycholand (C) 2021
bottom of page