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Interview with a Butt Pirate



We recently sent our resident intern out on-location where Mr. Kain and the rest of Psycholand were filming a music video for their song Gaslight.


 

Intern: Thank you for sitting down with us so we can do another interview.

Mr. Kain: Thank you for the weed.

In: Let's start off with...

MK: Wait, what happened to the last interview we did?

IN: For some reason it got deleted from our website so we have to do another one.

MK: Seriously?

IN: Unfortunately so, sorry.

MK: Well at least I can get baked.




Q. So we're here on one of the sets for the music video you're shooting for your song Gaslight. Can you tell me a little bit about the setting that we're in?

A. Well I don't want to give too much away, but basically this is the room where the band is jamming and the walls are all bloody. Not exactly sure where in the video this scene is going to go, but we're aiming for intensity if we can.


Q. It does look intense.

A. We were going for a Dexter bloody spatter room type effect.


Q. Does the whole video have intense settings and themes like this?

A. We took heavy inspiration on this music video from the Nine Inch Nails video Broken, which was first put out in the 90's. Very controversial back in the day and these days, if you didn't know it was fake, you'd probably freak out watching some of it. So so far the plan is for our music video to look like, well, a snuff film. Not sure if there's any way else to put it. Now, before anyone gets their panties in a wad, it's not actually a snuff film. It's just very gritty and retro-looking with special effects and some fake gore done on myself.


Q. Oh so no one else gets hurt in it?

A. Well no one gets hurt period. We don't operate that way. It would be bat shit crazy to do otherwise. But to answer your question, yes, the person in the music video being "harmed" is myself, but in a metaphorical sense depicted with physical imagery.


Q. What is Gaslight about?

A. In short, it's about the moment where a person realizes they're being cheated on and have to watch everything they once loved burn to the ground. It actually goes way deeper than that, but I prefer to keep details to myself. All I prefer to say is that I'm a stronger person now and leave it at that. I really don't like talking about my personal life that much.



Q. Ok, well let's talk about the band then. Where is Psycholand based out of and where is everyone from?

A. Psycholand is basically an internet band. I live in California, Mr. Severe lives in Australia, and who the fuck knows where our bassist lives. We basically just say that we're from Los Angeles to make it easier for everyone.


Q. You don't know where your bassist is from?

A. Not a clue. But even if I did know, we're contractually obligated to keep their identity, gender, and location completely private, per their request.


Q. What is the origin of the name Psycholand?

A. Psycholand is what I used to call Facebook and the toxic public-opinion culture it fosters. But that's not really fair because all social media is horrible.


Q. But you're on social media, too. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?

A. Everyone's a hypocrite to some degree. Working social media is the nature of the beast these days.


Q. Who is in the band and what do they play?

A. There's myself, Mr. Severe, and our bassist. I do the singing shit, guitar, some symphonic instruments, mixing, mastering, etc. Mr. Severe bangs on buttons and punches computer screens until music comes out then he flings them at me and goes back to watching Dr. Who. In all honesty, this is more Mr. Severe's band than anything else because he writes most of the foundational music. We wouldn't sound the same otherwise. Me and the bassist just add to it and enhance his work most of the time.


Q. You all are very up front about your mental illnesses. What do you have?

A. I am type 2 bipolar, which for me basically means I get depressed or irritated easily and have to constantly work to fight it off. It's calmed down a lot since I hit my 40s, but it's still there. I also suffer from ptsd, chronic anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and severe self esteem issues due to childhood crap and other life situations. Our bassist hasn't shared what's going on with them and we respect their decision. Mr. Severe has Asperger's and also suffers from depression, self esteem issues, and social anxiety. Oh and MCS.


Q. MCS?

A. Massive Cock Syndrome.


Q. ...

A. Hey, what can I say? He's Australian.


Q. Aren't you afraid of the stigma? What if people think you're crazy?

A. The concept of stigma is laughable. Like I give a shit about how other people think or feel about me. I'm not going to live in fear of other people's opinions. It's the 21st century. We as a society need to grow the fuck up.


Q. What bands do you guys listen to and did any of them influence your album Clock Tease?

A. We listen to all kinds of stuff. Mr. Severe likes industrial styled music like Nine Inch Nails. I love Nine Inch Nails as well but lean more towards stuff like Rob Zombie, Static X, and Rammstein. I would say that Clock Tease was influenced mostly by these kind of styles. Maybe throw in a dash of KMFDM and old school Misfits. But I listen to everything from Slayer to Bloodhound Gang and Weird Al. I also do vocal warm ups to Sarah McLachlan songs.


Q. Sarah McLachlan songs?

A. You heard me.


Q. Mr. Kain... sings "in the arms of the angel?"

A. Damn skippy. But I prefer Possession and Ice more. They bring out my lower voice very nicely.


Q. Lower voice? But she sings high.

A. I match my lower chest voice to her upper-range vocals. So I kinda sing in more of a tenor, like I did on Mistress Suicide and the chorus of You're the Worst.


Q. Where can we hear the music of Psycholand? How many albums do you have? And where can we find you online?

A. We have one album, called Clock Tease, and one single as of this interview. Our single is the Depeche Mode cover we did of People Are People, which features our friend Cat Hall on most of the vocals. You can find Psycholand in pretty much every major store and streaming service out there. I honestly can't list them all off the top of my head, but basically we're on Spotify and Apple and Deezer and Pandora and Xbox and Playstation and even that Peloton bike thingy. On social media you can usually find our pages with the tag @WeArePsycholand. And of course you can find us on our website at WeArePsycholand.com


Q. When does the next album come out?

A. We're currently working on a long list of cover songs, which we may or may not turn into a full album. Hope to have that done by the end of 2023 or early 2024.


Q. Do you guys play live shows?

A. Currently looking into online streaming options for doing live stuff. As I mentioned previously, everyone in the band lives in different locations. So unless a rich billionaire wants to front us the travel money, doing a live, in-person show with the full Psycholand line up is unlikely to happen in the near future.


Q. What kind of things do you write about when coming up with lyrics?

A. Clock Tease was a way to get out of my system a lot of depression and rage and bitterness that had built up over the last several years. I had a lot of shit to deal with. I had a lot of difficult, but necessary choices that I regret having to make, and it wrecked me emotionally and psychologically. To be honest, working on this album kept me from committing suicide at least 3 times. I was going through hell. And that's what Clock Tease is mostly about. The personal hell I was going through. But generally speaking I tend to write about personal and mental health related stuff, both humorously and seriously. Occasionally I'll write about sociopolitical topics, but these days I'm kinda burnt out on politics. And if I run out of ideas I'll write something humorous or about butt sex. Sometimes both.


Q. And Christmas songs?

A. Yeah. Fuck Christmas. Give me Halloween any day of the year.


Q. But you wrote a Christmas song anyway?

A. Oh, I've written fucked up Christmas songs before. Lots. The only time I'll ever do a serious Christmas song is if I intend to sell out, which I am considering. Cause I'm old and Xmas music is the way to go if you want to be a sell out. Well, Xmas, pop, country, or rap.


Q. You consider rap, pop, and country to be sell out music?

A. It's easy music to write compared to some of the shit we do. I'm not saying we're god's gift to anything because we're not, but there's not a lot of mainstream pop, country, or rap songs out there written in 11/8 time signature like Gaslight. Most people write in 4/4. Mr. Severe prefers writing in anything BUT 4/4, so we tend to write hard shit. All I'm saying is that if I truly wanted to sell out I'd drop the heavy metal stuff, write only in 4/4, throw all our songs through a shit ton of filters with instruments that everyone loves, and I'd rap instead of do my metal growl. I'd get a lot more fans doing mainstream shit. But I don't LIKE doing mainstream shit. If my stuff ever becomes mainstream, it'll probably be because the market shifted in some way. The closest I've come to writing anything sell-out is Gomorrah (Clock Tease.) Gomorrah is about partying in Vegas with the gods and is VERY pop rock. It's kinda in the same vein as Pepper by the Butthole Surfers, or at least that's what the vocals remind me of. So if you wanna say anything I've done is sell out, it's that song.


Q. Any genre of music that you hate?

A. Toby Keith styled-country music.


Q. Not a fan of Toby Keith?

A. Not in the slightest.


Q. What about Garth Brooks?

A. Honestly, I used to be a fan when I was a kid. I still remember a few of his old songs. But I'm just not a huge fan of that genre. If I had to listen to country and had a choice, I'd probably pick Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton. That's about it.


Q. So why aren't you a fan of the holidays?

A. Oh I have no problem with any of the other holidays around December. Just Christmas. Because it's stolen, and even if that weren't the case, it's contrived. I could rant about all the reasons why I hate Christmas, but there's no

point in it. It's a crap holiday with lots of manipulation behind it and even more people bullshitting themselves or stressing themselves out over trivial crap.


Q. So you don't get presents at Christmas?

A. Of course I do. I'm not a fuckin' idiot. I'm as greedy as everyone else.


Q. What subjects do you care about most?

A. Mental health, animal welfare, human rights, and free speech. I detest homophobia, transphobia, Islamaphobia, and prejudices along those lines. I also hate sexism in all it's forms, so both misogyny and misandry.


Q. Is that why you wrote #MenToo?

A. I don't want to get into a discussion about that subject because nobody WANTS to get into that discussion. People have already made up their minds about MenToo, so I generally don't waste my breath. I'd rather people just listen to that track and figure it out for themselves. There are actually a lot of layers to it, but I am 100% sure that nobody will get it until I tell them the meaning behind it. But I digress. I'm not a joiner, I'm not a part of any group, nor do I promote any particular group. But when I see a group being harmed, I speak up. Even if it's not popular. And trust me, trying to back this particular conversation is nowhere CLOSE to popular. But keep in mind, I did this for gay rights with my last band, I've championed women's causes for decades, and now I'm somewhat doing something for men because not all men are evil. Sorry, not sorry. It's the truth. I'm not here for a popularity contest. That shit left me after my 20's. I'm old. I'll be dead within the next 10 to 30 years. So now my point of view is: I got shit to do and say before I die. That's it.


Q. Changing gears, are you dating anyone currently?

A. Well as I've said, I prefer to keep my private life private, but as of this interview I am single.


Q. Do you have a type?

A. Evil and kinky. Must be compassionate towards animals, enjoy the 420, and can't be more psychologically fucked up than me. Oh and no taxidermy. Yuck.


Q. Do you have any celebrity crushes?

A. I generally don't subscribe to having a celebrity crush for 2 reasons: Number 1, I've met way too many celebrities to be mystified by them now because, Number 2, most of them are assholes. If I were to pick a type, I have two Alexes in mind. Alex Guarnaschelli and Alex Borstein. But I don't like limiting myself like that because I find all kinds of women attractive.


Q. You like Lois from Family Guy?

A. Lois, no. I find that character's voice to be annoying, which I think is kinda the point she's going for. Alex Borstein herself is very attractive to me, not any certain character. You should see her in other stuff besides Family Guy. She's definitely hot. And not just on the outside either. She's funny as fuck. I love a woman with strong intelligence that can make me laugh. Been a fan since MadTV.


Q. So just those two Alexes are your only type?

A. Again, I don't like limiting myself like that and I'm not really sure I have a type. I'm attracted to women of all shapes, shades, and sizes. I suppose I'm most attracted to long dark hair and I do tend to date people of color more often. Pair that with red, dark red, or black lipstick and you've probably got my attention. But again, I don't like to limit myself by saying I have a type. I guess go listen to Something Wicked This Way Cums. That's my idea of deep, intense romance.


Q. Anyone else in the band dating?

A. You'd have to ask them. I don't keep tabs on that kinda stuff.


Q. Speaking of celebrities, let's do some word association. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear these celebs...

A. Ok.


Q. Kim Kardashian?

A. Ew


Q. Machine Gun Kelly?

A. Who?


Q. Will Smith?

A. Unprofessional


Q. Johnny Depp?

A. Innocent


Q. Marylin Manson?

A. Unrepentant douchebag


Q. Ok, so what do you do in life besides play music?

A. Butt stuff mostly.


Q. And if it's not too personal to ask, why the eye patch?

A. My face is uninteresting otherwise.


Q. That's the only reason?

A. Yup.


Q. Any last words?

A. Listen to our shit so we can buy tacos.


 

Clock Tease is in stores and streaming services worldwide.

People Are People is also currently in stores and streaming services.


Stores:


Psycholand on Social Media:

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